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Yum Cha!

Who's responded to the Jun/Jul 2009 Yum Cha?

Principles of Yum Cha

Courtesy of Tim Yap, the ROCYO. Assistance provided by Jo*.
(to protect her identity, this may not be Jo's real name).

We hold these Principles of Yum Cha to be self-evident:

1
It is never too early to eat Yum Cha.
2
It is never too late to eat Yum Cha.
3
You can never be too full to eat Yum Cha.
4
Booking a table is generally frowned upon with the following exceptions as listed in Principles (5) and (6).
5
Booking a table will only be done if 6 or more people are attending.
6
Booking a table is essential if people attending are planning to see movie after.
7
The bill is to be paid by one person only with the following exceptions as listed in Principles (9) and (10).
8
If Principle (7) is adhered to, there must be at least 30 seconds of squabbling amongst at least 2 unrelated parties as to who will pay the bill.
9
Principle (7) is not required to be adhered to if group attending are generally not Chinese.
10
Principle (7) is not required to be adhered to even if group attending are generally Chinese if Principle (11) is met.
11
Group mentioned under Principle (10) must be a group of Chinese people who were born or brought up in Australia, whose command of the Chinese language is embarrassing, who do not know where their grandparents are from, and generally have a disrespectful ignorance of their Chinese heritage. These people are thereafter referred to as a "Principle (11) Person".
12
To clarify the issue, Tim Yap is an example of a "Principle (11) Person". Hence, he will not be squabbling over the bill.
13
If the exemption to Principle (7) applies, the bill shall be paid equally amongst those attending.
14
To prevent angst about the allocation of leftovers being taken away, all food on the table shall be eaten before departure. There shall be no leftovers.
14a
Notwithstanding Principle 14, leftovers of the dish known as "greens", "vegetables", "spinach" or similar may remain unconsumed provided that the dish was ordered for the dominant purpose of making the group appear healthier or to allay guilt.
15
To prevent angst about people eating more than their fair share, anyone displaying signs of previous fasting shall be banned from further Yum Cha events for a period of no less than 3 months.
16
To further prevent angst about people eating more than their fair share, if 1 person remains hungry while the rest of the group attending have declared their fullness, the hungry person shall NOT order more food. Rather, the hungry person will be directed to buy a kebab afterwards. This can be done when asking for the bill.
17
There shall be a teapot ratio of 1 pot to 3 people. In the event of 6 or more people, the 1st teapot shall contain strong tea (also known as "pucker tucker"), whilst the 2nd teapot shall contain weak tea.
17a
The person who pours out the remaining amount of tea from a teapot shall indicate its emptiness (the teapot's not the person's) by flipping the lid upside down.
18
Any references to another's mess shall only be done in jest or be complimentary (i.e. "looks like you really enjoyed Yum Cha today!")
19
The person who lives the closest to the Yum Cha venue, shall, at the conclusion of the Yum Cha meeting, have the discretion to offer
their couches for naps.
20
All persons shall have the right to declare their desire for dessert without ridicule.
21
Principle (20) shall apply, even if said person declares they have already eaten their bodyweight in food.
22
Principle (20) shall not apply, however, if said person declares that they have already filled up their "dessert stomach."
23
The Lazy Susan shall not be spun faster than 3 RPM. Further details about the Lazy Susan are detailed in Appendix 1 - "The Lazy Susan Code of Conduct."
24
No person shall unilaterally refuse an offer of food by the trolley pushers. Any declination shall be made be made only after consultation with the rest of the group.
25
Nothwithstanding Principle (24), each member of the group is entitled to accept 1 dish (the "Niche Dish"), even if no other member of the group wishes to partake in that dish. However, the accepting party ("The Person of Niche Taste") must be prepared to consume the entire dish to ensure compliance with the spirit of Principle (14).
26
The Person of Niche Taste must also be prepared to share the Niche Dish with others, should other members express an interest, even if these members previously refused to partake in the dish when the initial trolley pusher offer was made.